The First Time

The First Time

– By Adam Wilby

The girl barely raised her head as he entered the room and he paused in the doorway as he looked at her, for her own part she was seemingly content to stare shyly at the floor. Her long brown hair covered part of her face before draping over the shoulder straps of the black dress she wore. He crossed over and placed a hand on each arm, noting the barely concealed tremble as he did so. Reaching up he brushed the hair from her face and cupped her chin in his hand, raising her head until their eyes met.

“I never thought to see something so divine,” he said.

The girl smiled for the first time, the auburn eyes which lit up as an echo of the smile betraying her innocence.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he said, his voice holding steady with a confidence he wasn’t sure he truly felt.

Slowly her right hand moved to the left hand strap of her dress before pushing it clear of her shoulder. Turning her attention to the bed behind her she sat herself down, her eyes once again focussing upon the floor. Sitting down next to her he noted the glimmer of tears in her eyes.

“Have you done this before?” she asked.

He made pretence of clutching at his heart, “Now there’s a turn up,” he said, “I was beginning to think you’d been struck dumb”.

A second later he knew he had miscalculated as her expression hardened and she began to stand up.

“I’m sorry,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder, “That wasn’t funny was it?”

She turned to look at him, her irritation registered on her face, “No it wasn’t,” she said.

He took a breath, casting a look around the room, “You’re not the only one here feeling nervous,” he said, “I’m making my debut as well”.

An arm made its way across his shoulders, “I never knew,” she said, “You always make it seem like you had plenty of girlfriends”.

“All the world’s a stage,” he began.

“And all the men and women merely players,” she concluded, “Never had you down as someone who would read Shakespeare”.

“People do tend to tell me that, want to learn more about my hidden depths?”

“Perhaps later,” she said as her smile returned, leaning forward she kissed him and he felt the beginnings of arousal.

Breaking away from the kiss she scooted herself backwards and turned sideways before resting her head on the pillow. Turning round he climbed onto the bed and began to edge forward on his hand and knees; stopping with his knees parallel to her hips he stroked her upper thigh, his fingers lightly touching the skin under her dress. Leaning in he kissed her once again, this time their tongues coming together for a moment before he moved his head away and began to nuzzle her neck.

The arousal he’d previously felt began to grow within him at a rate he’d never thought possible even after the conversations he had with his peers. As his teeth begin to sink into her neck he felt her shudder and he lifted her before locking his hands behind her shoulders, the two of them fastened in a tight embrace. Her blood was intoxicating and, if only for a moment, he was tempted to take too much before he remembered himself. Releasing his grip he eased back to the bed; her face was pale now and her breath was shallow and laboured. Wasting no time he dragged the fingernail of his left index finger across his right hand, as soon as blood began to flow he held it over her mouth. After the first couple of drops fell in she grabbed his hand with both of her own and dragged it closer before drinking eagerly from the open wound. The old adage he had heard countless times that blood was life had never been truer than it was at this moment, it didn’t take long for the feasting to begin to weaken him and it was only with considerable effort than he pulled his hand clear.

With her head resting on the pillow the girl looked peaceful now, the blood which trickled from her lip the only sign she wasn’t sleeping. Rising from the bed he glanced out of the window at the rising sun and he carefully drew the curtains before seating himself in a nearby chair as he began the patient wait for the girl to reawaken.

5 Responses to “The First Time”

  1. Lori Moritz says:

    Adam! Thank you for posting. I have been NEGLIGENT. What would I do without you, BFF?

    I honestly thought this was going to be about sex. Then the blood began to flow, and I was instantly relieved that indeed, we weren’t going to go past first base.

    Just kidding.

    So, I was left wondering how she and he struck the ‘turn’ deal. Do you intend to leave this as a flash fiction, or to give these guys some history and conflict in the future?

    One word of advice… watch your run-on sentences. The first sentence is an example of a run-on sentence that should be split into 3 sentences:

    “The girl barely raised her head as he entered the room and he paused in the doorway as he looked at her, for her own part she was seemingly content to stare shyly at the floor.”

    Should be:

    The girl barely raised her head as he entered the room. He paused in the doorway as he looked at her. For her own part she was seemingly content to stare shyly at the floor.

    Run-ons will make an editor cringe. If you want to send your work out for publication, try to nab them all before you relinquish the pages to the hands of the editor. 😉

    L, Lori

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  2. Adam21 says:

    Thanks for the feedback.

    To start with the matter of the run-on sentences is this better (also from story) : “Turning round he climbed onto the bed and began to edge forward on his hand and knees; stopping with his knees parallel to her hips he stroked her upper thigh, his fingers lightly touching the skin under her dress”.

    It was a piece of semi-flash based on an idea I had, in the original draft the girl was destined to die (vampire’s first kill) but I changed my mind about halfway through writing it.

    Other than this, having thought about it, I suppose the intention was to give the impression of a less confident and younger vampire than (as a for instance) Count Dracula when he was pursuing the likes of Mina Harker.

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    • Lori Moritz says:

      Your correction is better for the Run-On…

      and yes, I do get the impression that the vampire is young. So, then I assume that he is changing the girl because he wants a companion?

      In this case, it interests me to know why he would chose her.

      😉

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  3. Adam21 says:

    Well like already mentioned, wrote this as standalone story….but perhaps not.

    Thoughts on “The Crypt?”

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  4. Lori Moritz says:

    I will put some comments up on it later today 😉

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