Scars of Lost Innocence

Scars of Lost Innocence

– By Adam Wilby

* This is an excerpt from a short story I’m sort of working on, the ultimate object being it’ll be one of several to make it’s way into a book.

Ashley ran excitedly down the stairs and down the hallway. As she rounded a corner she nearly collided with her Aunt Jane who was coming the other way, her arms laden with a basket of laundry.

“Slow down Ashley, anyone would think the devil was chasing you,” said Jane with a smile.

Ashley ignored her, instead waving a photo she had found up in the attic in her aunt’s face.

“Is this you auntie?”

Jane looked at the photo and her smile faded, dog-eared and partially faded yellow with age it portrayed two girls stood side-by-side on the edge of a cornfield.

“I assume you have been up in the attic again?” said Jane rhetorically, her voice almost toneless now.

“Did I do something wrong?” asked Ashley.

“Not at all, it’s just that I haven’t seen that photo in such a long time”.

Ashley pointed at the girl on the left, “That’s me right there”.

“Who is the other girl?”

Jane paused and looked away for a moment before returning her attention to the photo.

“Well once upon a time she was the Princess Gwyneth”.

2 Responses to “Scars of Lost Innocence”

  1. Adam21 says:

    I have the whole story of Aunt Jane and “Princess Gwyneth” already either drafted out in a notebook or running around loose in my head like some rabid dragon lol but have to work on the finer details. Maybe, as a for instance, I’ll edit the beginning ^ ^ so that Ashley is rummaging around in the attic for quite some time before she finds the photo.

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  2. Lori Moritz says:

    The line, “Ashley pointed at the girl on the left, “That’s me right there”.” makes it sound like Ashley is talking, when it should be Jane.

    I am interested in getting to the story. Not sure you need to have Ashley rummage around for awhile unless it is significant to the story. The immediate appearance of the photograph pulls the reader in and makes them want to know the significance of it. If Ashley rummages around for awhile, then we are literally just watching a child rummage around, and who wants to do that? 😉 I like where you have started… now, continue!!!!!

    :)

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